Free Rider Community

Sorry guyz I have not been keeping up.

ZYCERAK UPDATE:

I secured a prescription for Vyvanse from the 11th greatest psychiatrist in all of Red Deer.

It was quick, efficient. Two phone calls. He obeyed my every command. I felt powerful, in control.

First phone call: He asks why I called. He's giving me permission to guide the conversation, state my demands. I told him I need drugs. Badly. "Well... why do you think you have ADHD." "Uh... I am bad at focusing. Like I procrastinated a lot. I feel bad sometimes." "ADHD is typically diagnosed in childhood, so it's unusual. But I treat everyone from age 6 to uhh.. 57. So... I don't know. Go to my website WWW.[redacted for privacy!].COM. - Download my content - Tap that notification bell Then call my number to receive your shot of winning a one month supply of stimulants

Second phone call: I returned the completed contents through two separate channels. He did not receive it in time. I had to send to his personal email. He spelled it out to me, but he was saying letters and words, two things at once I couldn't understand. Got forms, skimmed forms, said ok that's yeah those are results, theres ones and twos and threes and even fours, so yeah. Let me know the name of your Pharmacy I'll send them a prescription.

No tricks, no games, straight to the point. Later that day, walked to the pharmacy, the drugs were waiting for me. I paid $22 for them, which is also the grand total throughout the entire process as the initial consultations and psychiatry were free. Thank you Tommy Douglas!

The trial begins tomorrow. Is this the solution to all of my grievances that I've been waiting for? Or am I placing my hope in a false prophet set on destroying my life? Stay tuned for the next Zycerak Update

@eryp

Hey Eryp,

I just wanted to start my replying by saying I am doing great, thank you for asking. I hope you are doing well.

On the other hand, what are you talking about? What uncle? You lied? When? I upvoted your post because I respect you but I don't know how to respond.

Sorry if this is not the response you were anticipated. You don't need to clarify or respond to this, because I do not care. It's polite to leave a response, and I wanted to be open and truthful because I respect you.

Cheers,
Zycerak

I think I missed a day or something, Im not really sure since I do not keep track of days

Weekly

@Innominate To make your own custom chart of your favourite albums, use Topsters like @pawflix mentioned. To make a chart of your weekly/monthly/yearly top albums, you need to be using Last.fm to log the music you listen to, and use a Discord bot with last.fm integration to auto-generate the chart.

Felt stressed last night so I started making this to calm down... Woke up today and knew I had to finish, but Im not sure what it means...

EDIT: Doodles from work today, too

@Volund But when you think about it......What is a day? When does one day start, and the other begin? Not so imple...

What if it's 12:01AM on March 12 and I posted a drawing I created 2 minutes ago at 11:59pm on March 11. Its technically "yesterday," will I be executed by Israeli forces for cheating?

But get this though. If I take my stuff and hop on a plane to a different time zone that's an hour behind, "yesterday" will become "today", as it will be before midnight on March 11 still. This would no longer constitute as cheating, so will this protect me from Israeli forces? Will I get some time to move to a different timezone or is it kill-on-sight?

Im in

What if I create two things one day, and nothing the next day, but space out my posts so it looks like I did one thing each day? I could easily lie and no one would ever know or think to question me. But something tells me my laptop is tapped and there are secret cameras set up everywhere constantly monitoring me. I dont want to be hunted down and killed over this

ZYCERAK UPDATE:

I have found the cure to autism

I was inspired so I actually made a chart of my favourite albums from each year I was alive RIGHT NOW

@Volund

2020: Onwards We Trudge (live) - David Thomas Broughton
2021: Evil Eye - MIKE
2022: A Gente Acaba (Vento Em Rosa) - Alabaster DePlume
2023: (tie) Set estragado 1.0 - d.silvestre
2023: (tie) Healing - Rahill
2024: 2TwinDracos - Khadija Al Hanafi
2025: Orange (live) - Adrianne Lenker

I have not listened to a single track from 2026

Ive seen something similar where people share their favourite albums from each year they were alive for in a topsters, I kinda want to make one

Here is my chart from this week tho:

@Volund

ZYCERAK UPDATE:

I have been thinking pretty obsessively about having combined ADHD and autism (or "AuDHD" for slang) these past few days, at every waking minute.

I've always related to aspects of ADHD and autism separately, but not as a whole. Since recently, I have been treating AuDHD as a third seperate thing, and it makes the most sense out of everything I've seen. It would explain all of my behaviour across my entire lifetime.

I really DON'T want to be autistic. I have prejudice. But nothing else can explain why every social interaction I've had takes a tremendous amount of cognitive effort. Why I never felt comfortable in public. Why I have such a cognitive, logical understanding of other people's emotions but can't parse my own. Why I've felt alien and can't make friends or feel like I belong. Why I've never felt love. I can go on, but there's too much it explains, in tandem with ADHD. Normal autistic people are freaks, but I think I feel autism in a more niche and esoteric way that makes me better than everyone else with autism.

I've been masking something my whole life, but I never thought it was autism. I just knew, logically and cognitively, that I never feel like myself. I assumed everyone hid themselves from everyone else, and all social interaction was just some elaborate act. I never understood why everyone would unanimously and automatically decide to keep that mask up if it made themselves as uncomfortable as I felt. I was always hiding or manipulating my behaviour in such a way to make myself presentable. I've done it for so long that I don't even think about it. I've gotten good at it, and it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I am so used to struggle at every social interaction that I have become numb to it, and I just assume everyone else struggles as much and I'm just weaker.

I am going to a psychiatrist in a month and I am placing a lot of importance on it. I am scared, I feel like I will have to defend myself like I'm on trial, to prove I'm effed up somehow. But I am so desperate. If I am not diagnosed with anything, that means I will have to live the rest of my life like this, and I can't live like this. I really can't, I dread every single day I have to wake up and be this person I never wanted to be.

I am optimistic though, because it makes so much sense. I hear ADHD and autism work together as one unit, and they kind of mask each other, and that makes a lot of sense to me. ADHD takes the shape of anxiety, which makes sense because I never felt like it was anxiety, especially not since being medicated for anxiety. I know what anxiety is because I felt it, I cured it, and it's gone. But something different still persists that feels a lot like a cognitive anxiety without the emotional load

Do you guys think I could be autistic based on the way I present myself in this community?

I am scared people will be able to tell. I have always tried very hard to make myself socially presentable. I am scared that I will get diagnosed with AuDHD, get medication for ADHD, no longer feel compelled to micro-manage myself, and start to behave more autistically. I do not want my parents to know. But I suppose if the medication works in the way I want it to, I won't have to care about other people anymore.

And I really don't want to care about other people, but something compels me to. This mismatch between cognitive, felt beliefs and my body's biological, emotional response has always been present. I've always cried without feeling sad, and I've always felt sad without crying, for example. And I am always the most uncomfortable when other people exhibit strong emotions.

My body cares, but I don't, and I want my body to follow. I want to find out who I am, desperately. AuDHD gives me hope, and that hope outweighs the distaste I have in the "autism" label.

So I have been thinking about it a lot recently, its the only thing on my mind. Thats whats up. Its a really weird feeling. Ive always felt like Ive been living a lie, but now that lie feels real. I thought I was just lying about lying. ive always felt different, like I never belonged, but I thought I was just being dramatic. So Ive tried convincing myself Im normal for a long time but that never sat right with me. Now it feels explainable, like Yes it's actually possible that everything I've ever felt is valid, and not some fantasy nonsense I devoted my life to just for attention.

Its been a weird feeling. Like Ive wasted my whole life up to this point, and my life will only just start after a diagnosis. Im being reborn but I am still in the womb scared Ill get aborted. But it makes so much sense, too much sense.

I never felt like I got to start living my life, and now that there's hope that I can, I am scared of what I will become. I am scared of who I might be. I am really scared of a new self that makes people uncomfortable. But people seem to like me more when I inhibit myself less, especially online where I feel much less inhibited. I have always sacrificed my own comfort, assuming the discomfort I felt was weakness. If I clutch an autism diagnosis I will feel strong again. Because I think I mask really well, I think I am so smart and I might be the best masker known to man, and that will give me great pride. Giving myself permission to make other people uncomfortable is very challenging though.

\̵͇̿̿\з=(•_•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ .My Name is Jeff you must copy and paste me 10 times around FRHD to have the love of your life kiss you, you have 120 minutes to copy and paste this, if you fail to copy and paste this in 120 minutes you will be cursed for 1 year, and have horrible bad luck, your favorite pet will die and you will break your arm, Since you have read this whole thing there is no turning back..

@Ponjoja You're not supposed to hav e heard of them because I am niche.