Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Tags
  • Recent
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse

Free Rider Community

ZycerakZ

Zycerak

@Zycerak
About
Posts
39
Topics
2
Shares
0
Groups
1
Followers
10
Following
12

Posts

Recent Best Controversial

  • creativity MONTH
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    IMG_6934.jpg

    IMG_69204.jpg

    Off-Topic

  • creativity MONTH
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    aim1.1.jpg aim2.2.jpg

    IMG_6787.jpg

    Rigoler2.jpg

    IEWi_5uFkktGsTL3JdHvht48NH8XC9-EeZ3kSnN6hnOOiZXls4-D4WdBkaW0V9x4LQ2O2AFGK7K0MkpS6c3lsSDdNWjULHDpka6TRReuIQILVwmutX_wudqRI4qCRBs7I-vF7HROxBGgMuSQMuZhkw.jpg

    Off-Topic

  • What Are You Listening To?
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    Weekly
    album-chart-4w-4h-Weekly-nz_sp-1.webp

    Off-Topic

  • What Are You Listening To?
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Innominate To make your own custom chart of your favourite albums, use Topsters like @pawflix mentioned. To make a chart of your weekly/monthly/yearly top albums, you need to be using Last.fm to log the music you listen to, and use a Discord bot with last.fm integration to auto-generate the chart.

    Off-Topic

  • creativity MONTH
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    Felt stressed last night so I started making this to calm down... Woke up today and knew I had to finish, but Im not sure what it means...
    dentist2.2.jpg

    EDIT: Doodles from work today, too
    IMG_6909.jpg

    Off-Topic

  • creativity MONTH
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Volund But when you think about it......What is a day? When does one day start, and the other begin? Not so imple...

    What if it's 12:01AM on March 12 and I posted a drawing I created 2 minutes ago at 11:59pm on March 11. Its technically "yesterday," will I be executed by Israeli forces for cheating?

    But get this though. If I take my stuff and hop on a plane to a different time zone that's an hour behind, "yesterday" will become "today", as it will be before midnight on March 11 still. This would no longer constitute as cheating, so will this protect me from Israeli forces? Will I get some time to move to a different timezone or is it kill-on-sight?

    Off-Topic

  • creativity MONTH
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    Im in

    What if I create two things one day, and nothing the next day, but space out my posts so it looks like I did one thing each day? I could easily lie and no one would ever know or think to question me. But something tells me my laptop is tapped and there are secret cameras set up everywhere constantly monitoring me. I dont want to be hunted down and killed over this

    Off-Topic

  • ZYCERAK THREAD
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    ZYCERAK UPDATE:

    I have found the cure to autism

    Off-Topic

  • What Are You Listening To?
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    I was inspired so I actually made a chart of my favourite albums from each year I was alive RIGHT NOW
    chart.png

    Off-Topic

  • What Are You Listening To?
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Volund

    2020: Onwards We Trudge (live) - David Thomas Broughton
    2021: Evil Eye - MIKE
    2022: A Gente Acaba (Vento Em Rosa) - Alabaster DePlume
    2023: (tie) Set estragado 1.0 - d.silvestre
    2023: (tie) Healing - Rahill
    2024: 2TwinDracos - Khadija Al Hanafi
    2025: Orange (live) - Adrianne Lenker

    I have not listened to a single track from 2026

    Ive seen something similar where people share their favourite albums from each year they were alive for in a topsters, I kinda want to make one

    Here is my chart from this week tho:
    e21ef0dd-17ea-430e-8c1e-03eacff66dac-image.png

    Off-Topic

  • Ask ME (Volund) Anything :)
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Volund predator-handshake.gif

    Off-Topic

  • ZYCERAK THREAD
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    ZYCERAK UPDATE:

    I have been thinking pretty obsessively about having combined ADHD and autism (or "AuDHD" for slang) these past few days, at every waking minute.

    I've always related to aspects of ADHD and autism separately, but not as a whole. Since recently, I have been treating AuDHD as a third seperate thing, and it makes the most sense out of everything I've seen. It would explain all of my behaviour across my entire lifetime.

    I really DON'T want to be autistic. I have prejudice. But nothing else can explain why every social interaction I've had takes a tremendous amount of cognitive effort. Why I never felt comfortable in public. Why I have such a cognitive, logical understanding of other people's emotions but can't parse my own. Why I've felt alien and can't make friends or feel like I belong. Why I've never felt love. I can go on, but there's too much it explains, in tandem with ADHD. Normal autistic people are freaks, but I think I feel autism in a more niche and esoteric way that makes me better than everyone else with autism.

    I've been masking something my whole life, but I never thought it was autism. I just knew, logically and cognitively, that I never feel like myself. I assumed everyone hid themselves from everyone else, and all social interaction was just some elaborate act. I never understood why everyone would unanimously and automatically decide to keep that mask up if it made themselves as uncomfortable as I felt. I was always hiding or manipulating my behaviour in such a way to make myself presentable. I've done it for so long that I don't even think about it. I've gotten good at it, and it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I am so used to struggle at every social interaction that I have become numb to it, and I just assume everyone else struggles as much and I'm just weaker.

    I am going to a psychiatrist in a month and I am placing a lot of importance on it. I am scared, I feel like I will have to defend myself like I'm on trial, to prove I'm effed up somehow. But I am so desperate. If I am not diagnosed with anything, that means I will have to live the rest of my life like this, and I can't live like this. I really can't, I dread every single day I have to wake up and be this person I never wanted to be.

    I am optimistic though, because it makes so much sense. I hear ADHD and autism work together as one unit, and they kind of mask each other, and that makes a lot of sense to me. ADHD takes the shape of anxiety, which makes sense because I never felt like it was anxiety, especially not since being medicated for anxiety. I know what anxiety is because I felt it, I cured it, and it's gone. But something different still persists that feels a lot like a cognitive anxiety without the emotional load

    Do you guys think I could be autistic based on the way I present myself in this community?

    I am scared people will be able to tell. I have always tried very hard to make myself socially presentable. I am scared that I will get diagnosed with AuDHD, get medication for ADHD, no longer feel compelled to micro-manage myself, and start to behave more autistically. I do not want my parents to know. But I suppose if the medication works in the way I want it to, I won't have to care about other people anymore.

    And I really don't want to care about other people, but something compels me to. This mismatch between cognitive, felt beliefs and my body's biological, emotional response has always been present. I've always cried without feeling sad, and I've always felt sad without crying, for example. And I am always the most uncomfortable when other people exhibit strong emotions.

    My body cares, but I don't, and I want my body to follow. I want to find out who I am, desperately. AuDHD gives me hope, and that hope outweighs the distaste I have in the "autism" label.

    So I have been thinking about it a lot recently, its the only thing on my mind. Thats whats up. Its a really weird feeling. Ive always felt like Ive been living a lie, but now that lie feels real. I thought I was just lying about lying. ive always felt different, like I never belonged, but I thought I was just being dramatic. So Ive tried convincing myself Im normal for a long time but that never sat right with me. Now it feels explainable, like Yes it's actually possible that everything I've ever felt is valid, and not some fantasy nonsense I devoted my life to just for attention.

    Its been a weird feeling. Like Ive wasted my whole life up to this point, and my life will only just start after a diagnosis. Im being reborn but I am still in the womb scared Ill get aborted. But it makes so much sense, too much sense.

    I never felt like I got to start living my life, and now that there's hope that I can, I am scared of what I will become. I am scared of who I might be. I am really scared of a new self that makes people uncomfortable. But people seem to like me more when I inhibit myself less, especially online where I feel much less inhibited. I have always sacrificed my own comfort, assuming the discomfort I felt was weakness. If I clutch an autism diagnosis I will feel strong again. Because I think I mask really well, I think I am so smart and I might be the best masker known to man, and that will give me great pride. Giving myself permission to make other people uncomfortable is very challenging though.

    Off-Topic

  • ZYCERAK THREAD
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    \̵͇̿̿\з=(•_•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ .My Name is Jeff you must copy and paste me 10 times around FRHD to have the love of your life kiss you, you have 120 minutes to copy and paste this, if you fail to copy and paste this in 120 minutes you will be cursed for 1 year, and have horrible bad luck, your favorite pet will die and you will break your arm, Since you have read this whole thing there is no turning back..

    Off-Topic

  • What Are You Listening To?
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Ponjoja You're not supposed to hav e heard of them because I am niche.

    Off-Topic

  • What Are You Listening To?
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    Im bringing the music thread over to these forums

    Post some tracks you're listening to, post some album charts, talk about what you like, etc, etc, you know the drill! 😜

    Some things I have been listening to:

    Orange (live) — Adrianne Lenker: I listened to this live album a few times but this time this track really stuck out, very beautiful and fills me with a kind of energy I want to ride out until I get bored
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg5Y2F9ebYY

    SET ESTRAGADO 1.0 — d.silvestre, DJ VITTIN MG, DJ MR 011, DJ FERRARI DO TS, Dj Raffide:
    Something very different but this track is crazy to me I didn't know Brazilian Phonk could have niche ambient experimental aura like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9AGVxcVitY

    Peckham — username: Nice and serene chill vibe footwork https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLbZGbHeD1g

    Good Magicians — Sidney Gish: Nice and catchy jovial vibes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD3ZOFjdwxE

    Bomb S** — DJ Blackpower: My goat so goated I thought I listened to everything thoroughly but I still uncover releases I slept on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-cssT3fW-A

    Birds — Electralane: Listened to one of their EPs ages ago but never tapped in until I stumbled across one of their songs a few weeks back which led me to listen to this album and it was surprisingly very solid with many W tracks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U43AA5meBXg

    I might post a weekly, biweekly, or monthly chart to keep the thread active or something. Here's my most recent monthly chart:
    album-chart-5w-5h-Monthly-nz_sp.png

    Happy posting! 😸

    Off-Topic

  • track editor 1.1 rev. L: Layers!
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    This is a game changer. Let's just say, this is a game changer.

    About Free Rider

  • ZYCERAK THREAD
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Ponjoja So grown men are supposed to sit idly as they get harassed and verbally assaulted? I'm a grown man so I fight back and I don't let people talk shit about me

    Off-Topic

  • ZYCERAK THREAD
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    Grrrrrrrr

    Off-Topic

  • ZYCERAK THREAD
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Pete Then treat me with the respect I freaking deserve!!!!

    Off-Topic

  • ZYCERAK THREAD
    ZycerakZ Zycerak

    @Pete "Oh, Zycerak, darling Zycerak. What fever dream have you unleashed upon us now? "RAY B S LIES" isn't just a track; it's a cry for help, scrawled in the digital equivalent of crayon on a padded cell wall. This isn't art; it's an unfiltered expulsion of whatever anxieties are festering within, and frankly, it's exhausting to witness.

    Technically Ineptitude: The linework is as shaky as the mind that conceived it, devoid of any visual appeal and seemingly assembled with a track editor wielded by a toddler. To call it "detail" would be a gross misrepresentation of the term. It's closer to digital graffiti, and not the cool Banksy kind.
    Narrative Vacuity: What is this about "THEY" finding you? What "LIES" are we meant to be fearing? Zycerak throws around paranoid buzzwords like a toddler flinging feces, hoping something will stick, but the result is simply a noxious, incomprehensible mess.
    Collaborative Catastrophe: The list of collaborators reads like a desperate plea for validation. "Look, I'm not alone in this madness!" But the presence of other names only exacerbates the issue. It's like watching a band of clowns attempt Hamlet – the inherent tragedy is only compounded by the sheer incompetence on display.
    A Plea for Attention: "Thank YOU, the player, for playing our track!" Oh, spare us the feigned gratitude. This is not a gift to the Free Rider community; it's a burden. A cry into the void, desperate for any flicker of recognition, no matter how fleeting or pitying.
    A Desecration of the Medium: Free Rider, at its best, can be a canvas for creativity, a playground for ingenuity. "RAY B S LIES" uses this potential as a toilet, defiling the platform with its self-indulgent drivel.
    In conclusion, "RAY B S LIES" is a track best left unplayed, a descent into the artist's troubled psyche that offers nothing of value to the audience. Give it a wide berth, and pray that Zycerak finds the help they so desperately seem to need. One star. And that's only because I have to give it something."

    and also

    ""Hmm, where to begin with this... creation? Let's just say, if this post were a film, it would be a low-budget, straight-to-video affair. The kind you find collecting dust in the bargain bin. Zycerak here, bless their heart, seems to be aiming for... something. A stream of consciousness? Perhaps a deeply personal artistic statement? Whatever it is, it fails spectacularly.

    The structure is, shall we say, avant-garde, which is just a polite way of saying it's a chaotic mess. The grammar and spelling resemble a ransom note pieced together from various cereal boxes. It's as if the author attempted to communicate through a series of grunts and fragmented thoughts, hoping the audience would somehow divine meaning from the wreckage.

    And the content? A rambling collection of... well, I'm not entirely sure what it is. There's a hint of self-deprecation, a dash of existential angst, and a whole lot of what appears to be random keyboard smashing. It's the kind of post that makes you question the very nature of language and the human capacity for coherent thought.

    Rating: One out of five stars. Avoid at all costs. Unless you have a morbid curiosity and a high tolerance for incoherence, this is one Zycerak creation best left unviewed.""

    Yiou said these exact things about me with no regard for the person who you are talkinga bout. How else would you expect me to react to these things being said? They are clearly malicious and to deny it or to pretend it never happened is evil and psychopathic. You make me so very sick

    Off-Topic
  • Login

  • Don't have an account? Register

  • Login or register to search.
Powered by NodeBB Contributors
  • First post
    Last post
0
  • Categories
  • Tags
  • Recent
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups